


You're Better Than Mock Apple Pie

by Cri_du_Chat



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Jealousy, Romance, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Warnings May Change, cute trope galore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-01-29 19:36:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21415534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cri_du_Chat/pseuds/Cri_du_Chat
Summary: 70 years have past, and you find your destiny thrown upon you.You've assumed identity of the ship captain you killed on impact, and slowly assemble an entire of crew of misfits from across the colony.But what surprises you the most is your complex relationship with Vicar Maximillian DeSoto. You seem to be at each others necks constantly, but you're strangely drawn together.And you secretly like how he always smells of mock apple pie.
Relationships: Maximillian DeSoto/Reader, The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto
Comments: 42
Kudos: 137





	1. We Can't Fucking Read French

“What the fuck is this? Is this...French?”

Max said with disbelief, his brow furrowing as his calloused fingers hastily thumb through the journals old, discolored pages.

You quickly shoot a glance at Parvati, her demeanor shifting to tense and uncomfortable at the result of the vicars mood swing. Only a moment ago, he’d been elated at your swift return in retrieving M. Bakonu journal.

_Was this why she was wary of him earlier?_

Not mere hours ago, you were fighting to not roll your eyes at the vicar fervent enthusiasm of Scientism. He’d become defensive when you questioned the usefulness of his religious propaganda to the residence of Egdewater and ended your conversation with blunt condescendence of:

“I’d love to discuss the finer points of my religion with you. Oh wait...no I wouldn’t.”

_What a prick._

Furthermore, you’d been skeptical of his real desire for the historical book he tasked you with retrieving. You couldn’t shake the feeling there was something he wasn’t telling you. But the curiosity of the books content got the better of you, in contempt of the vicars callousness. What could be so bad in the book the Board would have it banned?

To your disappointment, the text wasn’t in English. You hadn’t expected French, and assumed the vicar therefore understood French. Annoyance prickled your mind as it reaffirmed your doubts.

_Why ban a book no one can read? _

You felt deceived.

But seeing the vicar disheveled over the fact he couldn’t read French filled you some quiet glee—you couldn’t help but laugh internally at the turn of events.

You pop back into reality when you notice his heavy eyes locking with yours, his next words bellowing out with pointed anger.

“I can’t fucking read Fench! This is a law forsaken joke is what it is! French, ha! I was so high and mighty preaching the yokals about following the Plan, while fighting it at every turn.”

The abusity of all this causes you to let slip a small snicker. The vicar returns a scowl, as Parvati whispers a harsh plea (“Captain!”) from behind you. You know you shouldn’t be laughing at his despair, but you couldn’t help but feel this is some sweet, cosmic karma.

“Is this funny to you?” Max snaps and slams the book on the desk, causing Parvati to jump in surprise.

“Yeah, a little.” You admit with a smirk. “You really didn’t know the book was in French? Is it really _that_ important?”

“I’ve spent my life for the keys to unlocking the secrets of the Universal Equation that underlies the Plan. I had hoped this book held some of those answers.” Max replies with a strained voice, trying to hold back his bubbling rage.

“I became so desperate I even got myself assigned to this plagued-ridden backwater to find the damned thing. All that time and suffering I’ve spent...wasted!” he spat bitterly.

“This has to be some kind of— “

You start to retort patronizingly, tempted to give the vicar a taste of his own medicine. But you’re cut off again by a loud, forced cough by Parvati. You suppose she’s right. The vicar is already agitated enough, best not to stir the pot.

“Erm, I mean, at least you still have your mission work here to give your life a meaningful purpose?” You offer unconvincingly. Parvati groans quietly behind you, the vicar seethe at your disingenuous condolence.

“Oh please, as if my life should have no greater meaning than proselytizing to a bunch of feeble minded wretches. Nothing could be more excruciating then discussing the true nature of reality with people who have no interest beyond their next aetherwave programme.”

Despite not knowing what the hell an aetherwave programme even was, you’re offended at his assumptious tone as he focuses on you. You make a small growl of frustration, thinking of how you’re about to verbally tear him a new one, but he continues on before you have a chance.

“But that’s neither here nor there. What I need to do now is find a translator, obviously, but to do that I’ll first need to secure transport.” Max says matter-of-factly.

_Ha! Good luck finding someone who will put up with a religious zealot with a tossball bat up his ass._

“You have a ship, right? Perhaps I could make myself of use to your crew?”

_Shit, I do have a ship._

Well, not _your_ ship. The recently squished Captain Alex Hawthorne was the true owner. Due to circumstances beyond your control however, you hadn’t only inherited his ship, but his identity.

As far as the town of Edgewater was concerned, you were Alex Hawthorne. Phineas warned you about revealing your true identity, and the last person you want knowing your recent escape off the Hope by the aid of a galactic criminal was a Board, bootlicking vicar.

“Ms. Hawthorne?” you snap out your thoughts once again to lock your gaze with Max’s green eyes. His tone shifting dramatically to his usual calm and calculated presence. For a split moment you admired his eyes, that is until you mentally kick yourself.

_Remember who you’re talking to, dammit!_

“What do I look like, a free space taxi service?”

Max frowns and huffs. “Well, I already gave you most of my money, but I can offer you free spiritual counseling—”

“Hard pass” you assert bluntly.

“And I’d be _happy_ to watch your back.” He says in a strangled voice, his smile straining to stay upright. Now that he wanted something from you, you could tell he was desperately trying to appease you.

And you weren’t going to pass the opportunity to enjoy it.

“Heh, you’re gonna watch _our_ backs? I’ve been outside and I’m not impressed. _We_ can handle ourselves better than a vicar, right Parvati?” You swivel and step back to place an arm around Parvati and pull her close, flashing Max a cheeky smile.

Parvati, her distress only increasing at the sudden new sensation of physical contact, laughs nervously and attempts to wiggle free from your grasp, all the while Max looks at the pair of you with a raised eyebrow.

“C-Captain, if you don’t mind me saying of course, but I think more crew members could be pretty useful. At least that’s what I think.” She rambles nervously, avoiding your stare and manages to slip out of your arm.

“Looks like Ms. Holcomb is the one with more common sense between the two of you.” Max cocky smile firmly returns, looking down at your now deflated stature, making you feel small.

“Well unlucky for you, it isn’t her ship you’re asking permission to board, it’s _mine_.” You counter, emphasized by pointing at yourself.

“I get final say, and I say no.”

Max frowns, grimacing at you as you quickly turn around to leave this terrible conversation. Parvati fumbles for a moment as she shifts her glance from you to Max. Mumbling some half apologizes at the vicar, she scurries out to catch up with her captain.

———————————————————

Max had been left there, stuck in place, watching scornfully as the young women leave his chapel.

“Dammit.” He curses to himself. He runs his fingers through his greying hair, mind racing for an alternative option. It’s not like anyone else in Edgewater has a ship he could hitch a ride on, and no trading ship would allow an unauthorized passenger off the planet without the proper mountain of paperwork.

He’s surprised, if he was being honest. Sure, the introduction with the newcomer could have gone smoother, but he was sure they’d take pity on him.

_No, this won’t do._ This was his only chance to getting off this dreadful, diseased, monster-infested planet. And with the book in hand, he had no other reason to stay here.

With that, Max grabs his shotgun from under his desk and dashed out of the chapel.

_I can’t miss this chance. I’ll just have to show her how much she needs me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow burn: START!
> 
> Thank you for reading, please leave a kudo or a comment if you liked this chapter!
> 
> Got a question about the fic? Wanna request a drabble? Or maybe just talk about our mutual pinning for a very angry vicar? Follow me on tumblr at captainnataliedesoto!


	2. We're Surrounded

You can’t get off this planet fast enough.

You finally have the power regulator in hand, albeit after a difficult exchange with Adelaide. You stand by the deserters on principle, but in practice, you couldn’t justify leaving a whole town destitute and at the mercy of Adelaide and her devotees.

You felt you had made things right by getting Reed to step down. How you saw it, everyone could live in Edgewater under a leader who can provide food that wasn’t canned saltuna. Sounds like a win-win, right? 

But you can’t shake the way Adelaide glared at you with such contempt. A ferocity you'd expect from a mother raptidon whose nests been ambushed. Her words replaying in your mind over and over again.

_ “Stranger, you are some kind of twisted.” _

Shame washes over you. You swallow hard, trying to push those dark feelings down. You never intended becoming so entangled in the lives of everyone here, yet you impulsively jumped in and changed the course of Edgewaters future. Have you really done the right thing?

_ From now on, I’ll only focus on freeing the other colonist on the Hope. I can’t afford to waste time fixing everyone’s problems. _

Your feet feel heavy and the stench of slatuna assaults your sinuses as you hastily jog to the closest exit. You couldn’t walk through the cramped town without the feeling of eyes watching your every step. At this point, the people of Edgewater had endearingly referred to you as “that stranger” or “some freelancer”.

_ Wonder what they’ll think once they hear about Reed Tobson. _

You were anxious. Anxious to get away from the sorrow and disease that clings to everything here, away from the marauders and alien monsters, safe from the nauseating smell of fish which presence immediately made you gag.

And most importantly, getting far, far away from that vicar.

_ The rest of this Halcyon can’t be this bad, right? _

“Captain wait!”

You stop. You place your hand on the Edgewater south exit door, swiveling your head to see Parvati desperately trying to catch up.

“C-Cap...Captain..._ooOOF” _

She tries, hands falling to her knees. She bends over, gasping to catch her breath as small beads of sweat trickle down her brow. You’ve been so caught up in thinking, you failed to notice Parvati wasn’t right behind you.

“You’ve always been...been...able to run that fast?” She pauses in between breaths. “You’re faster than a sp...sprat after an exploding can of saltuna!”

You fight to suppress retching at the mere thought.

“Erm, sorry! Heh, I didn’t mean to give you such a workout.” you chuckle nervously, crouching down to Parvati’s level. “Got a little too lost in thought there.” You keep your inner turmoil to yourself. The last thing you want is to burden her. Or worse, open yourself up to more ridicule. 

“I’m too excited to finally get that bucket of bolts off the ground. I’d imagine you’re excited to see the Unreliable finally take off, right?”

You mimic Parvati as she stands back up straight. Before you can ask if she’s ever been on a spaceship before, you’re caught off guard by the reluctance etched on her face.

“I’m sorry to bring this up again Captain, I really am. I-I’ll do my best to keep it short and sweet though. But with what happened back there—I think you should reconsider…” She hesitates as your expression sours.

“_Please _ do not say this is about the vicar.”

“Sorry. I think both you and Vicar Desoto got off on the wrong foot is all.” She continues, averting her eyes from yours. “He was awfully upset. I hate the idea of us...just leavin’ him behind.”

Did she already forget how he talked to her earlier? Talking down to both of them while he blamed all the cannery workers for his own shortcomings? For a man of the cloth, he seemed too preoccupied with his own affairs and desires.

“Do you really want to bring a man on board who is willing to abandon all these people? People he’s been tasked with watching over, all abandoned at the drop of a book? How do we know he won’t do the same to us?” You retort sternly. Parvati fidgets with the fabric of her overalls while under your intense gaze.

“I suppose if you put it that way, maybe I don’t. But I still think you’re being too hard on ’em Captain. Vicar Desoto is rough around the edges, but he’s a good person.”

A frustrating noise escapes your throat. You take your turn to avoid Parvati’s direct line of sight, but she isn't waiting for you to gather your thoughts.

“You told me back at the power plant that you like hearin’ what I had to say. N-Now I’m sayin’ we shouldn’t leave someone at their lowest. It’s cruel...W-with all due respect, Captain.”

_Dammit_. 

Having a walking moral compass around is more a curse than a blessing at these moments. You don’t trust Max, but you can’t deny Parvati is merely trying to do the right thing.

“Fine! I...I’ll think about it.” Parvati eyes shoot towards you with a mixture of surprise and hopefulness. “B-but no promises, okay! I’ll...give him another chance.” You drag the last words out of your mouth. “But first, we’re going back to the ship to plug in this damn power regulator.”

Parvati chuckles. “Captain, you don’t _ plug in _a power regulator.”

“Oh law, Parvati. You know what I mean.” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

Max doesn’t even get outside the church entrance before running into Reed Tobson. 

“Off in a hurry, Vicar Desoto?” He starts off nonchalant enough, until he notices the vicar sporting a spotless shotgun. “You’re not planning to go out in the Vale, are you? We can’t have our vicar getting shot or eaten.”

“Or turn into a marauder themselves?” Max quips. Despite the urgency, he can’t help himself. 

Reed isn’t keen on discussing Bertie Cotton, the previous vicar who turned murdering miscreant. His disappearance and subsequent “enlightenment” had given Vicar Max little to work with upon assignment to Edgewater. The town is under siege to many problems outside their control, and Max found it difficult and fruitless to get buy-in from much of anyone. Max thought he had finally escaped prison, but it’s becoming painfully certain he’s only upgrading to a new one.

Reed deflects with a series of uncomfortable coughs before continuing. “Besides, you’d be breaking Spacer’s Choice policy of recklessly endangering company property.” 

Reed stops, an abrupt wave of sadness overtakes him. “Ah, who am I kidding? I’m no longer a Spacer’s Choice man.”

“Mr. Tobson, I’m in the middle of something of great importance and—wait, what did you say?”

“It’s over for me Vicar. I’m...unemployed!” He cries out. “The freelancer told me Adelaide not only knows how to grow food in this law-forsaken planet, but that her people are cured of the plague. Consequently, I’m standing down as outpost administrator, effective immediately.”

Memories of Captain Hawthrone in his chapel asking for his thoughts on the cannery’s power situation came rushing back. When he had suggested getting the deserters to come back, he never would have expected you to somehow convince both Adelaide and Reed to an arrangement like this. Max had heard the story of Adelaide’s deceased son shortly after being assigned this new flock. Unfortunately, her story was too common. While Max condemns Adelaide’s methods, he can’t bring himself to blame her either. 

The situation seemed irreparable, but somehow you had played the best hand with the cards you were dealt. He’d never admit it, but he’s impressed. Perhaps even envious; you had done more in a week than he had since he set foot in Edgewater.

_ All the more reason to find her. _If you could do this, he imagines you could certainly assist in finding a translator.

“I’m actually trying to find Ms. Hawthorne. She was just here, did you happen to see her?”

“What could you possibly need to talk to her for?” Reed inquires. His eyes drift to the shotgun on Max’s back. “Woah, don’t tell me that shotgun is for her!”

Max looks taken aback, “What?! No! I don’t have time to explain! Did you see her or not?”

“Yes, now that you mention it, think I heard her and Ms. Holcomb talking about getting that ship of hers to fly. Now that she has the power regulator from Adelaide’s camp, I’d wager she’s going back to fix her ship...” Reed trails off in mid thought, all the while Max impatiently surveilling the nearby area, as if you’ll suddenly come into view at any second. He doesn’t bother looking down once Reed starts back up again.

“Now then, I was hoping for some guidance—”

“I’m sorry Mr. Tobson, but you caught me at a most inconvenient moment. Oh, and sorry to hear about your recent misfortune.” Max quickly weaves around the man and starts back into a brisk jog. 

“Remember this is all part of the Grand Plan!” He shouts indiscriminately behind him. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

“This literally can’t get any worse.”

“Captain, you’re gonna jinx us if you keep sayin’ things like that!”

“Too late, don’tcha think?”

It’s dusk in the Emerald Vale. You and Parvati crouch behind a short boulder overlooking the valley where the Unreliable is docked. You peak your head around the side, surveying the group of marauders that were meandering about your ship. Most are keeping guard and patrolling the area, while a few are circling the ship for a way to get inside. Maybe they had seen you enter earlier, exposing that the ship isn’t equipped with any defense mechanisms. Whatever the case, 20 or so marauders stood between you and the ship. Worst yet, all they’d have to do is kill you to get the key to flying the damn thing.

“Maybe—”

“_No” _

Parvati huffs in frustration. “Captain, we’ve done a good job holding our own up until now, but taking out all these marauders by ourselves? I...It doesn’t seem like a good idea.”

You let out an exasperated sigh. If only you’d found a sniper rifle, you could’ve picked some off from afar. But one stray shot, and you’ll both be ambushed. 

“One way or another, we gotta get to the ship. They’ll eventually bust through and ransack the place.” On cue, you watch a marauder take a swing at the ship entrance with a prismatic hammer, only to have the hammer bounce off and go flying behind them and into the face of different marauder.

“Eh, maybe I’m giving them too much credit.”

“I got a suggestion, but you don’t want to hear it.” Parvati’s tone giving away her irritability.

“Even if we had someone else for backup, you really think all three of us can take on a group of 20? Unless that third person,_ if they were here_, used themselves as bait while we pick the marauders off from afar.”

“Captain! How could you even suggest something so terrible! Y-you wouldn’t actually order someone to do that, right?” Parvati looks at you uncertainly.

You reciprocate by rolling your eyes. Parvati shoots a look of disapproval your way, but this time remains silent. She looks over her side of the rock, taking another look to assess the situation.

“Maybe we can go and talk to them? We don’t gotta resort to violence.” She asks optimistically. 

“I rather not end up a cold, lifeless corpse like Lieutenant Mercer and her companion down there.” You gesture towards the two lifeless bodies near the ramp to the ships doorway. It looks like they had tried to get inside when the marauders attacked them, evident with the blood splatters staining the ship's hatch. You try to not think about what their last moments must have been like.

“Right, so what’s the play here Captain? If we plan on takin’ them head-on, we should try to strategize.”

“Right. It’s almost dark, so I’m thinking—”

“I can see you ladies require my assistance after all.”

You twist your neck around so fast you practically give yourself whiplash. Max seemingly teleported behind you, standing tall while his large hands cradles his shotgun. He shows off his signature smirk, no doubt in reaction to catching you off guard.

“I was worried you’d already left in your ship.” He sounds relieved. “Seems like fate has a different plan in store for us.”

“You were right Parvati,_ I did jinx us. _”

“What the Captain _ means _ to say is that she’s willing to give you a second chance, Vicar Desoto. Ain’t that great news?” Parvati interjects, quick to remind you of the promise you made with her earlier.

“Oh is she now?” He says moving his attention solely on you, unable to prevent the smile creeping up his face.

You should have seen this coming. Of course the vicar is a type of man that doesn’t understand the meaning of the word “no”. You open your mouth, but you’re adamant about not wanting to give him any satisfaction, so it all comes out as incomprehensible grumbles.

“It’s a good thing I found you.” Max continues, amused by your reaction. “I’m more than willing to lend my expertise, assuming it secures me a spot on your crew, _ Captain_.”

“And what makes you think we need your help?”

“You left yourselves entirely exposed. You didn’t even hear me coming. If I had been a marauder, you’d both be dead.” You could have sworn he almost sounds proud of himself over that hypothetical situation.

Your face feels hot from embarrassment over your carelessness. You try to construct some excuse, but fail. _ How was he so sneaky? _ Instead, you flip it back on him.

“Don’t you have flock to watch over, preacher man? Or did you forget them the moment they stood in your way of ‘discovering the equation of the universe’?” You taunt. Max’s face contorts, you had obviously struck a nerve.

“Captain, Vicar Desoto, please! There’s n-no need to f-fight.” Parvati tries sheepishly, but neither you nor Max can focus on anything else but each other.

“Do_ not _ lecture me about responsibility.” Max’s voice starts rising. “You, an outsider, meddling in affairs you had no business in, are now washing your hands of all the lives you affected without a single hesitation. And you’re painting me the selfish one?”

“No business in?! After Reed literally asked me to intervene?” You’ve had enough. You shoot up to your feet, boring your eyes into his and jab him hard in the chest with your index finger.

“I’m sick and tired of you! I went out of my way to retrieve your stupid, French book. After all that, now you think you can treat me like this? You think I owe it to you to take you aboard my ship?!” You were seething. You had woken from cryosleep not even a week ago, and you’ve had to endure: being shot at, mangled by alien wildlife, and desperately trying to help a town that’s on the brinks of collapse. Now he had the audacity to criticize you? “Maybe if you weren’t so incompetent at your job, the deserters would never have left, and I wouldn’t have had to fix everything!”

Max, first taken aback by your outburst, is quick to shield it with his growing temper. He clutches your wrist and yanks it off him. “Are you completely oblivious of the consequences of your actions? You forced a good man to step down in favor of unstable zealot who holds contempt over the entire town!”

You wrench your wrist from his grip. “A _ good man _? That’s fucking rich! Everything Reed ever did was for Spacer’s Choice, not for the good of his workers. Even an outsider like me can see that. I suppose you see a lot of yourself in him, since you’re both exhaustively failures at what you were tasked to do.”

“Captain—”

“Oh you’d _ love _ to believe your actions were purely altruistic and selfless, but in reality your sole motivation was to get your power regulator, isn’t that right?”

“No, that’s not true!”

“Vicar, please—”

“No? Then why go through all of this? What’s the point?”

“Because everyone needed my help! _ You _ needed my help! Despite how I felt about you or what you thought about me, I wanted to do the right thing!” You cry out.

“Hey!” You all hear an unfamiliar voice call out. You turn around, finding the marauders have spot you over all the commotion. You watch as they all ready their weapons, the closest one pulls out their gun and aims it straight for you and Max.

_ There’s no time. _Well, it would have been if you had been anyone else. Lucky for you, and had gained a nifty new ability to slow down time. Sadly, you hadn’t gotten the hang of it yet. It always ends too swiftly and abruptly, leaving you lightheaded and vulnerable. 

Without hesitation, you reach out and clutch a fist full of Max’s vestment and pull him down and forward. There’s no way you were about to let him die when you weren’t done yelling at him yet.

Predictably, your TTD quickly wears off. Disoriented, you lose your footing and fall down onto your back. You hit your head against the tough earth. A curse escapes your lips as you open your eyes, only to be face to face with Max, who had awkwardly fallen right on top of you.

Your face flushes. You realize how close your lips are in this moment, his body heavy on top of yours. He seems stunned too, his cheeks turning to a soft shade of pink. Is he surprised you saved him despite trying to bite his head off only a moment ago?

What you were sure about is that _smell_. Everyone and everything in Edgewater reeks of saltuna...but not the vicar.

For a moment, for the first time since waking up, you’re reminded of earth. The sound of bullets flying by above you, Parvati shouting as she pulls out her rifle, it all seems so far away. A flood gate of memories opens; your past life crashing back into the present moment. You briefly reminisce of a simpler life, with simpler problems.

All because he smells like apple pie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! Chapter 2 finally done!
> 
> Thank you for reading, please leave a kudo or a comment if you liked this chapter!
> 
> Got a question about the fic? Wanna request a drabble? Or maybe just talk about our mutual pining for a very angry vicar? [Follow me on tumblr at captainnataliedesoto!](https://captainnataliedesoto.tumblr.com/)


End file.
